The Tale of King Douchebag v
by lydiana123
Summary: This Story is about a new kid coming to south park. The new kid arrives in south park in the middle of a game the kids were playing. All character of South Park will be present in this story.


I don't own anything of south park or anything that is associated with south park in this story.

It is a frosty morning at the start of winter. I have just moved to a small mountain town called South Park. My name is Max Ryder. I am 9 years old and I will go to the fourth grade. I don't have any brother or sisters and I am living with my Mom and Dad. My Mom and Dad told me the reason that we moved is because they like the peaceful life of a mountain town. After the movers brought all our furniture into the House, I decided to take a look around. Before I could do that my Mom came into my room. Mom asks" Hi darling what do you think about the house?" I replied" It looks okay." My Mom replied" I think it looks terrific." After my Mom went back to the kitchen I went down to the living room. My Dad sat on the sofa and he says" Go out and make some friends. There is money on the kitchen table." I went to the kitchen, grab the money and I went out through the front door.

As I step outside I start walking down the path and I see two boys, they seem to be 9 years old as well, fighting each other. The first boy is a boy with a wooden sword and pointy ears. He is beating up the other boy while the boy is lying on the ground. The boy on the ground is crying for help. I punched the boy with the pointy ears. He stops his attacks on the other boy and says" You are cheating, that is not fair, and I will tell my Mom." He runs away. The boy, who calls himself Butters and he says" I am a Court paladin and I am delivering the Wizard King's justice." on the ground is thankful and he wants to be my friend. He lives next door to me. I am happy to accept his friendship. He said as a reward I must follow him to the Wizard King. It looks like these boys are playing a game of Humans against Elves because only elves have pointy ears. The Wizard King lives in the green House, two Houses from where I live. Butters knock on the door of the Wizard King. Moments later the Wizard King opens the door. The Court Paladin say" All hail the Grand Wizard." The Wizard King says" Your coming has been for told, new kid." We went into the house and we walked past the Wizard's Mom. She asks" Oohh Eric who is you new friend?" The Wizard answers" Shut up Mom, not now." It seems that the Wizard King is not very nice towards his Mom. We continue walking through the House; it looks the same as my house, and into the backyard.

There is the Human kingdom, known as Kupa keep. The Wizard King calls his kingdom also the KKK. The Wizard King took us on a tour through his kingdom. The weapon shop is attended by Clyde, a level 14 Warrior. The stable is taking care by stable Master, Scott, a level 9 Ranger who has the power of diabetes. The next place that we are visiting is the Keep. There we see the breath taken and beautiful princess Kenny. The fairest maiden in all kingdoms. The Wizards wish to speak with me. I walk over to where the Wizard King is. The Wizard Kings says" I need something from you and in return I will let you into my keep. I know you are very excited." The Wizard King asks me" What is thy name?" I told him my name, but as arrogant he is he will call me only Douchebag. Now I will choose my destiny. Will I be a mighty warrior or a powerful mage, a mage is almost the same as wizard but not as cool, or an infamous thief or even a Jew. It looks like the Gods want me to be a powerful mage. So here I am Douchebag the mage, recruited by the Humans to help them fight against the Drow Elves.

My first quest by the Humans is to go to the weapon shop and buy a weapon. Then Eric the Wizard King will show me how to fight. I am walking over to Clyde to have a look at his weapons. Clyde says" Do you want tips and rumors for $2?" I don't want to hear any tips or rumor's so I say" I only want to look at your weapons thank you." Clyde replies" Okay suite yourself." I am looking at his weapons, that he has and I am choosing a magic wand because I am a mage. After I have finished my transaction the Wizard King came to the shop. The wizard king says" Ahh I see you have bought a new weapon." He continues" Now with your new weapon and with the bravery of a noble knight beat up Clyde." Clyde responded by saying" Whaat?" The Wizard King replies" Kick Clyde's ass, new kid." Clyde asks" What did I do?" The Wizard King replies" I am the king, Clyde and the king wishes to be amused. Go on new kid, kick his ass."

The battle scene:

**Douchebag the mage vs. Clyde the warrior.**

Clyde is ready to fight he says" I will kick your ass, new kid." The Wizard King says to Clyde" You have to wait your turn Clyde." Clyde replies" That is lame." The Wizard King replies" You have to wait your turn Clyde. We are doing it like in the middle ages. I know it is lame but that is how we are fucking doing it." He continues" Douchebag smash Clyde's face in, don't be shy." I charge forward with my wooden magic wand and I hit Clyde with the wand. My attack does 3 points of damage, but luckily I could attack twice so done a total of 6 points of damage. My attack did not do a lot of damage because Clyde has amour on. My next move I will try to hit Clyde as hard as I can. This attack does 6 points of damage in one single hit. The Wizard King says to me" The key to stay alive in battle is to protect your balls." It is now Clyde's turn to attack and I must protect my balls. I have only received 5 points of damage because I blocked his attack. The Wizard King tells me" Now it is time to use your heroic powers. These powers use power points or pp for short." As the Wizard King said pp, Clyde began to laugh at the king. The Wizard King says to Clyde" If you have a fucking better name for it then fucking say it Clyde, fucking asshole. I am the King and I say it is pp." The Wizard King then turns to me and says" Douchebag use your magic ability to make Clyde pay for insulting the King." My magic ability does a lot of damage and it sets Clyde on fire. "Use the same attack and finish Clyde." says the Wizard King. Clyde say" I was only going easy. Take this." He attacks me and luckily I have blocked both attacks so I only received 10 points of damage for both attacks. He is badly hurt after my first magic attack so I going to use the same attack again and with that I have beaten Clyde.

After the battle the Wizard King is laughing" HAHAHA that was awesome dude. You were brave and Clyde was crying like a baby HAHAHA." Then the Wizard King says" Okay, okay you have proven yourself Douchebag. Now come into the war tent so that I can show you the sacred relic." After I have entered the war tent the Wizard King says" Well here it is the relic that is most sacred to us. Every human and elf is willing to die protecting this sacred relic. THE STICK OF TRUTH." He continues talking" Two days ago we took the Stick of Truth from the Elves. Our kingdom was dying but now that the Stick of Truth is again in our hands the kingdom thrives once again." He continues talking" Whoever controls the Stick of Truth, controls the universe. Don't gaze at it for to long because its power is too powerful for mere mortals to look at. Now that you have seen the Stick of Truth lets discuss your duties. Being a member of Kupa keep it costs $9.95 for the first week and there is a $4 which is tax deductible. Suddenly the Court Paladin, Butters, screams" ALERT ALERT! The Elves are attacking." The Wizard King says" Oh my god. Everyone to defense positions."

My next chapter will be about the great battle of Humans against Elves. Please R&amp;R.


End file.
